I Was (Not)                                             

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I had an eye operation at the age of three. I remember trying to remove the uncomfortable bandages, momentarily seeing a strip of bright light before the dressing was immediately put back in place.

This painting series is about colour and vision but at the same time, it is about the moment when your eyes fail you.

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One early morning when I was waking up,
I was (not) looking at one of my old paintings
which hangs in my bedroom.
Unfocused,
in a dim light
and without my spectacles,
I could not recognise the painting that I was looking at.
A vast open space receding in the middle of the picture plane.

The (not) seeing stopped immediately
when I put on my glasses.

(not) seeing was a moment that I learned to cherish.

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Coloured stripes describe a landscape seen through a collapsing structure. The compositions all adhere to this trinity. Moments of collapse are captured, although it is unclear whether the portal or the landscape is in peril. The Klee inspired stripes are adjacent and related hues which create the illusion of space, of visibility.

The landscapes are personal abstractions of memory and life-long experiences of looking and (not) seeing. Colour fields act as bandages, concealing that which is best not seen. They form representations of selective memory.

It was a moment of (not) seeing that gave birth to the  I Was (Not) painting series.

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All the paintings in this series  are from 2018, oil on linen.